Now listening: Odessa by Caribou.


Hi. I'm tệ, the webmastệr at I go by user147, u1s4e7r, or e0x0e0 pretty much everywhere else on the web. This is my homepage on the internet, where I document my existence and cast it into the void.

If you like the design, it was inspired by "DiggieDog", a Gopher client on Android. Yes, I browse Gopherspace frequently, but I'm not committed enough to have my own gopherhole. So... I dug myself a webhole here, right in the comfort of HTML.


1. License?

/~147/ is a Public Domain dedication. Everything under /~147/ is yours to peruse, no strings attached. Our source code is also publicly available on Github.

2. Cookies?

/~147/ will never send you any cookies. We don't use Google Analytics and there's not even a single line of script in our source code. However, you might receive Youtube & Bandcamp cookies from the Jukebox.

3. Is this an ARG?

Even though the navigation seems a bit mystery meat, this is not an ARG. It's my personal webpage.

4. What is e0x0e0?

e0x0e0 is an old pseudonym I had on Instagram, and also on Neocities for a while. Nowadays "e0x0e0" refers not to me but to the website e0x0e0 is us, we are the club. I like to think of e0x0e0 as a collective, even though it's still mostly me and... like, a piece of Ket. But I will get the whole of Ket and some other people on board as well, someday.


How to read the scribbles

- Entries are color coded by topic:

OCs babbles, art ideas
Media commentary
Principles, philosophy
Systems, structures, tech, design
Rewind, remind, reflection

- In log entries, mentions of real-life people, locations,..etc. are replaced by block characters because I don't want to autodoxx myself or my acquaintances.

▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓ Location
░░░░▒▒▒▒ People
▖▖▖▖▝▝▝▝ Other

- Some content, that I deem too personal or potentially upsetting, will be written in Ceasar cipher. The cipher could be brute-forced easily so it doesn't provide any "protection", it's just a reminder of the sensitive and personal nature of the contents. It's a scarecrow password wall I put up to make sure I don't accidentally read something angsty I wrote years ago person who'd like to read it will have to put in some effort and will have to be human.

Most of these entries are pulled from the ~147/log/ section and refined/compiled into something more readable. Entries are indexed by name.

“Personal websites were like your home. It wasn't this busy bustling street corner full of traffic noises and street vendors, security cams... It was just your stuff, perhaps sloppily hoarded and in disarray, but... Yeah, like a home.”

Source: Fraidycat intro video (Youtube)

There's no such thing as a "no cookie" Youtube link.

Google sets a tracking cookie for YouTube videos for marketing and advertising purposes. Because YouTube tracking violates the European Union’s strict GDPR laws, Google was forced to offer a GDPR-compliant alternative which uses no data-collecting HTTP cookies.

To use Privacy Enhanced Mode:

1. Change the domain for the embed URL in your HTML from to


This "privacy enhancing" feature merely "delays" the cookie. YouTube promises will not leave cookies in the browsers of users who have not yet clicked the "play" button to view a video. And yet, people found out that the nocookie feature continues to serve Flash cookies in background. [2]

Pingback: Jukebox/disclaimer

What the fuck is Gopher?? This is the readable (i.e screenreader-friendly and vietglish-free) version of log no.230413.

This is a (instant messaging) convo I had with Bennie about Gopherspace. They took my Gopher infodump so that YOU don't have to. Everybody say thank you Bennie. (jk everyone PLEASE ask me about Gopher/Gemini/old Web).

I never run out of things to say about Gopher, but I can't come up with anything decent to write about it (that hasn't already been written). I find myself re-explaining everything everytime I talk about it to someone new, that's why I'm trying to like... compile whatever I knew about Gopher through these IM conversations.


Ok I'm just gonna send this without context first
screenshot from a gopherhole. The screen reads as following: It's a fabric of friends woven in time from found strands. It's actively maintained and mended--visits, phone calls, fun times, care when needed. We figure our way through life together freely, voluntarily.
                We've seen each others' weaknesses and our own in the sight of the other. We fashioned ourselves after each other. We remember our dead. (new line) Foucault, in 1981, gave an interview titled 'Friendship as a Way Of Life.' I've loved it a long time. Way of life he said 'can be shared among individuals of diff-erent age, status, and social activity. It can yield intense relations not resembling those that are insti-tutionalized. It seems to me that a way of life can yield a culture and an ethics.' 
                He was thinking about about heterotopia--the *other* places he'd lived and loved in as a gay man of his era. 'To be gay, I think,' (he said) 'is not to identify with the psychological traits and the visible masks of the homosexual, but to try to define and develop [friendship as] a way of life.'
                When we wandered we found each other, recognized and loved each other. When we settled, some friendships endured time, distance, and wear, tough as osnaburg. Without marriage or paternity our woven love, memory, and way of life became durable family, the basic unit of our world.

Omg why does this.
Why is this comforting

I know right
So uh
The person who wrote this is a woman, a nurse, I think late in her 40s
This is like... pulled from her online diary. She has a gopherhole called "AGK" which is her initials I guess
Now you might wonder wtf is a gopherhole

????? Hold up what's a Goph-
Ok :)

So, Gopher is an internet protocol that existed before World Wide Web


Basically, the Web uses the HTTP protocol, so when you use a browser to visit a website [its URL] begins with "https://...." right


Gopher is its own protocol, and Gopher "sites" URL begin with "gopher://......"

Bro why am I invested
[The fuck]

Most modern browsers dropped support for Gopher long ago, but the community there isn't dying or anything, in fact some people like Anna (who wrote the stuff above) still use it everyday

| Re: Bro why am I invested
You should, hehe. There are more to the Internet than just... the Web you know

| Re: Most modern browsers dropped support...
How the fuck

Anyways Gopher is really different because it's an archaic protocol and not much has changed about it, so it doesn't have all the fancy styling stuff you can do with HTML. All content on Gopher is served in plain text
a screenshot of Anna's Gopherhole on Gopher
This is Anna's gopherhole....



[Hey] that shit is so nice to look at it really gives off the middle age people vibe
Thing is
It looks so easy on the eyes bitch the fuc
Looks very minimalistic I like it picasso

This is why Gopher isn't dying
Some people even prefer it to the Web
(It's me I'm people)

As they should [to be honest]

Nowadays I also surf Reddit through Gopherddit if it's not media content :))) Gopher is much easier on the eye [for real]
There's an active community there so lots of people made Gopher proxy for websites, so you have Gopherpedia (Wikipedia proxy) and stuff like that

Oh shit
But ughhhh I often consume shit with like
Media you know

I don't know if I don't consume lots of media or if I kinda adapted to [the lack of media] once i started using [Gopher]
My first hour browsing Gopher was.... very wowie, like, most of the stuff there are more well written than anything I've read from Weblogs
So I get the appeal

| Re: [image]
this screenshot was from 2021
Around the time I found out about Gopher

And now you still browse through gophers?

Yeah that entry was from October 2021
| Re: And now you still browse through gophers?
I dont have a hole myself hdhfj but it's nice to lurk around and read people's stuff
Literally all of them are just.... regular people, hobbyists, mostly middle aged but like their stuff is so well written???

It's because they're middle-aged
Time to contemplate

Lol I guess so

Pingback: About / FAQ

Welcome to my web log. Most of these entries are pulled from my actual, physical journal which is obsessively paged and categorized (hence the color code). I use an image-to-text program to easily digitalize this, so there might be some typos. Entries are indexed by date.

Archive (slumber) 2021 2020

29.8.2023 @ 11:46

Been waking up to the sound of Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man" for a few days now.

The song was from "Subterranean Homesick Blues" (1965), love the CD, I bought it from ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ record shop. They add a chill vibe and a perfect tiny amount of existential crisis to start a morning.

Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me In the jingle jangle mornin' I'll come followin' you

The chorus line is "Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me" but I somehow always hear it as "Hey Mr. Tambourine, play one last song for me". There's like a growing sense of longing in his voice each time he calls the Tambourine Man, as the song progresses and I hear this line for the 10th time. It's giving a tired vagabond with nowhere to go vibe (a common thing in Bob Dylan's songs) persisting that you play one last song for him, again, and again, and again, and again. Because what does he care, he's lost everything.

Though I know that evening's empire  
has returned into sand  
Vanished from my hand  
Left me blindly here to stand,  
but still not sleeping

My weariness amazes me,  
I'm branded on my feet  
I have no one to meet  
And the ancient empty street's  
too dead for dreaming

Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me In the jingle jangle mornin' I'll come followin' you

I'm not even gonna talk about how much I have a soft spot for street performers LOL not me bawling my eyes out for random cello players on the street the other day.

I don't know what most people get from Dylan... but his lyrics and delivery always give me a sense of displacement, uncertainty and/or grief. The theme is similar to "A hard rain's a-going to fall"... a 20-something person on a solo trip exploring the big and cruel world. Bit too relatable.

Take me on a trip  
upon your magic swirlin' ship  
My senses have been stripped  
My hands can't feel to grip  
My toes too numb to step  
Wait only for my boot heels to be wandering

I'm ready to go anywhere  
I'm ready for to fade  
Into my own parade  
Cast your dancing spell my way  
I promise to go under it

Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to Hey, Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me In the jingle jangle mornin' I'll come followin' you

I don't get people who think that Bob Dylan is like... some live laugh love flower power hippie? I mean sure he received a Nobel Peace Prize, but from my view his songs are almost always very stoned and bleak. Like have you even listened to any of them. His whole discography sounds like mid-20s crisis.

I especially love the last 4 songs: Mr. Tambourine Man; Gates of Eden; It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding); and It's All Over Now, Baby Blue. Doesn't get angstier than that.

28.5.2023 @ 7:00 - Aging

Been eating porridge for days like a real sick person. Didn't sleep for a night, then got a cold yesterday (god forbid me to go out for some fresh air) and slept for approximately 13.5 hours.

Finding it hard to make peace with the fact that I can get sick, burnt out, hungry, or anything of the sort. It's hard to believe that I can attempt to ruin my health and actually suffer consequences from it. I hate thinking that I'm not young and reckless anymore.

I always wanted to die clean and pretty, I don't want to be slowly marching towards death. I don't want to be the ship of Theseus where each part of the ship is replaced with a dysfunctional version of itself, and then the worse-functioning version of that one, until eventually the ship is rendered completely useless and unrecognizable from its younger self.

I mean, of course, that the ship of Theseus is a silly problem. Whether the ship is continuously aged into a less-functioning version of itself, or enhanced and repaired into a better functioning version, it would remains "the same ship" for as long as people want to believe so. It's because identity is a social construct and if a social contract assigned the identity "ship of Theseus" onto this random ship, then in turns, only a social contract could remove it.


Qju q sebt reybut uww vhec jxu vhytwu. Y zkij mqdj je bqo temd qdt sho.

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Thfil P't thk aoha P jvbsk'cl zwlua MVBY leayh ovbyz ha aol jhml huk aolu nv av aol aluhua jvttpaall tllapun, pm pa dhzu'a mvy aopz. Uvd aoha pa'z avv shal puav aol khf huk hss aol svclsf jhmlz hyl jsvzlk, P dpss ohcl av zpa olyl pu tf puzhulsf iypnoa rpajolu dpao hu ltwaf zavthjo huk hu ltwaf ihur hjjvbua afwpun hdhf tf puzhupaf puav aopz zjyllu.

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Rzgg oj wz avdm, D'h wzdib wpo v rcdit fdy viy ht nompbbgz rdgg izqzm npmhjpio ocz vhjpio ja nomznn ocvo ncz wzvmn. D'h ijo ocz jigt kzmnji rcj cvy oj hvfz odhz amjh ht nxczypgz. Ncz'n wpndzm ocvi D rdgg zqzm, zqzm wz. Viy D'h npmz ncz cvy v qzmt bjjy zskgvivodji ocvo rdgg diqvgdyvoz vgg ja ht xjhkgvdion. Vaozm vgg D nodgg rvio oj wz di bjjy ozmhn rdoc ocz kzmnji rcj apiyn ht gdaz. Rjr. Rcvo v nvy ocdib oj nvt vwjpo tjpm hjoczm.


Some of Judith Nijland's albums are available for free listening on her website(!!!). Check this out.

Other albums available here, but the one I was looking for (Acoustic Solutions vol. 4) wasn't there. But that's okay, "Suitcase Of Songs" have most of the songs from vol 4. I'm just so glad to find this because most of her recorded discography is on CD and not on streaming platforms.

edit 30.4.2023: nevermind, somebody uploaded Acoustic Solutions vol. 4 on Youtube!!!

(Zlkqfkrba colj 23.4.2023) F alk'q hklt elt ql bumixfk ql jv mbbop qexq F'j pqfii molzbppfkd jv qoxrjx. F alk'q hklt elt ql bumixfk ql qebj qexq, xcqbo pl jxkv vbxop xtxv colj eljb, F'sb dlq pl jxkv dlla qefkdp dlfkd lk xka F pbbj pl crkzqflkxi yrq F'j pqfii molzbppfkd pljbqefkd qexq exmmbkba 15 vbxop xdl. Pljbqfjbp qeb ifqqibpq qefkd exmmbk xka F pqxoq ql xdb-obdobpp. F qefkh qefp bkqov fp xylrq qexq.


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F objbjybo
Qeb qfjb F hkbt texq exmmfkbpp txp
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Sunday evening. It's already 20:30 but I want to take myself out for a date. All the cafes I like would've been closed by now. The only things open at this hours are K-markets (but they'll stop selling alcohol at 9) and bars/pubs, most of which would be too noisy or crowded for my taste. I decide to take a shower. It will take me another 30 mins to reach the city centre. I wonder what sort of place will open it's door to shelter me at this hour.


I finally got ready at 22:02, another 13 mins waiting at the bus stop. At first I wanted to go to ▒▒▒▒▒▒ 'cause I've been there once and the vibe was nice. But ▒▒▒▒▒▒ will be closed at 23:00, which means I'll have less than 30 mins to finish whatever drink I ordered there, and I'm a very slow drinker. I don't want to crawl to another pub after 23:00, so I decided to check out a new bar called ▓▓▓. It's a small place (I have a bias for small spaces), it'll close at 00:00, and according to Google Maps it's less crowded than usual. So I thought it'd be suitable for today.

As I gaze through the road of ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ while on the bus, I also saw some other main-road bigger bars like ▒▒ and the ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒... which I know will be open until 2-5 AM, but I still wanted to wait and go to ▓▓▓. I realized that I have a clear preference when it comes to bars & pubs: I find bars that are too fancy rather off-putting. You know, those bougie jazz-pubs-slash-social-clubs that have a huge ass terrace, perfectly aligned diner tables, velvety seats, shimmery gold to be the main color of their palette... Deluxe rooftop sky bars that are entitled enough to reject your RP card and ask for a passport (yes I do hold a grudge). Those with a tuxed man in their logo, that are designed like a first-class suite on the Titanic and reek the smell of old money... irk me to no end. I also don't like bars that are too square and flat and symmetrical, or too conveniently planned. The Finnish landscape is full of hills and slopes and extruding bedrock, it's very uneven and most roads are steep as a ski track. This tricky geography enables different types of building to exist, including the extra-small, the underground, and the asymmetrical. Whenever I see a spatial building that lays on a flat road, I feel like they're having it too easy (or they apparently won the real estate lottery). I like buildings that adapt to the space available for them, be it tucked into a sharp street-corner or shoved under the basement of an apartment complex, the smaller the space the more innovative people gets. Design-wise, I also like bars that look a bit rustic (wood furniture is a big win), mismatchy, or New York street rat DIY-Punk vibe. Of course, I'm not that picky when I go out with others, but when I go by myself, I do like very specific things.

Turns out, I made the right decision going to ▓▓▓ instead of the main-street bars. The place is a fucking jackpot (imo). First off, it's pretty niche and tucked away from the noisy part of the city centre. Nobody even asked for my ID, which makes me so damn happy cause I'm asian and you know how asian people have to prove their age everywhere - I guess it's the combination of them not having a lot of customers and me showing up in this esosteric location alone at 22:35 that makes them think I can't possibly be a minor. Anyways, this fucking place, I feel happy just looking at it. It's small and cozy and is divided into multiple micro-areas (despite being small), each of which have one or two crooked corners, but they made it work. The wall was painted (in a very amateur manner) deep red and adorned with pictureless picture frames. Many decor elements seemed like they were DIY-ed out of refurbished materials, like the light fixtures and the bar itself. Furnitures look like the kind mass-produced in the 70s-80s, all mismatched, some of them have visible tears as if they've been hauled straight from a flea market. The composition was fucking beautiful, makes it seem like a beat-down old living room. Overall it looks very fleshed-out, vintage but not in a pretentious way.

That was long. So here's a quick conclusion to wrap it up before I get too drunk to write the rest of this entry: 10/10 would visit again. It was a vibe, some dude is singing along to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive". I'm so glad that I chose to go here. It's already 23:22 (crazy), only half an hour until closing time, so I better hurry.


I wish to have Jo Franco's mindset. "Somebody I meet in this city is going to change my life - I just don't know who it is yet." It's a highly romanticized and hopeful line of thought, yeah, but I think I'd be much easier on people if I think about it like that. I do like to pretend that I'm a solo traveler privileged enough to go on a trip for self-discovery and reflection, having late night dates with their journal at a bar sitting in a corner writing their heart out, instead of... a busy student doing the smallest bit of selfcare and feeling guilty about wasting money. L uhdoob grq'w nqrz li pb mrb lv uhdo ru li L'p mxvw ghvshudwhob vshqglqj pb odvw elw ri iuhhgrp - erwk skbvlfdo dqg ilqdqfldo - ehiruh pb idplob ilqgv ph dqg pdnhv ph uhvsrqvleoh iru pb vleolqj iruhyhu dqg pb dfdghplf idloxuhv doo frph wxpeolqj grzq lqwr ghew. L jhw ioljkw-ru-iljkw uhvsrqvh dw wkh voljkwhvw wkrxjkw derxw pb idplob, lw'v fudcb, dqg L fdq'w srvvleob hasodlq wr dqbrqh L nqrz derxw wklv. L fdq'w srvvleob hasodlq wr wkhp wkdw L'p vwloo surfhvvlqj pb wudxpd hyhub gdb L zdnh xs, dqg L fdq'w hasodlq krz ixfnlqj vfduhg L dp ri olylqj zlwk pb sduhqwv. L grq'w nqrz krz wr hasodlq wr wkhp wkdw, diwhu vr pdqb bhduv dzdb iurp krph, L'yh jrw vr pdqb jrrg wklqjv jrlqj rq dqg L vhhp vr ixqfwlrqdo exw L'p vwloo surfhvvlqj vrphwklqj wkdw kdsshqhg 15 bhduv djr. L grq'w nqrz krz wr hasodlq wr wkhp wkdw pb eudlq lv shupdqhqwob frqglwlrqhg wr wklqn wkdw L fdqqrw srvvleob vhhn kdslqhvv lq dqbrqh ehvlghv pbvhoi, hyhq li L ihho wrwdoob dw hdvh zlwk wkh shuvrq. (Wklv sduw ri wkh hqwub frqwlqxhv rq wkh 25.4.2023).

Exw wkhuh kdv ehhq shrsoh zkr xqghuvwrrg. Wkrvh zkr kxvkhg dqg vdlg wkhb'g eh wkhuh iru ph zlwkrxw ph hasodlqlqj pbvhoi hyhubwlph L jr P.L.D, zkr zrxog eh mxvw dv jodg wr iloo ph xs rq wkh qhzv zkhq L frph edfn. Kdlc. L plvv wkhp. Pdbeh L gr kdyh d vxssruw vbvwhp dqg pdbeh L gr kdyh wkh uhvrxufhv wr sxoo wklqjv lq dqrwkhu gluhfwlrq, pdbeh L'p mxvw lq pb ihpfho grrphu prrg dqg qrw wklqnlqj vwudljkw. L wklqn wkh pdlq sureohp zlwk ph lv wkdw L zdqw wr hduq pb olih dqg ihho zruwkb ri lw dqg L grq'w zdqw wr rzh dqbrqh dqbwklqj, vr L nhhs wublqj eb pbvhoi, hyhq li L'p mxvw gdeeolqj lq wkh gdun. Wkdw hyhq li L idlo djdlq dqg djdlq L'oo kdyh wdnh wkdw dv dq rssruwxqlwb wr ohduq krz wr fxvklrq pbvhoi iurp idoolqj.

(bar playing "Maniac" by Michael Sembello. She's me fr)

13.04.2023. Babbled with Bennie about Gopher today. See the readable version of this entry.


ok imma just send this w/o context first
screenshot from a gopherhole. The screen reads as following: It's a fabric of friends woven in time from found strands. It's actively maintained and mended--visits, phone calls, fun times, care when needed. We figure our way through life together freely, voluntarily.
                We've seen each others' weaknesses and our own in the sight of the other. We fashioned ourselves after each other. We remember our dead. (new line) Foucault, in 1981, gave an interview titled 'Friendship as a Way Of Life.' I've loved it a long time. Way of life he said 'can be shared among individuals of diff-erent age, status, and social activity. It can yield intense relations not resembling those that are insti-tutionalized. It seems to me that a way of life can yield a culture and an ethics.' 
                He was thinking about about heterotopia--the *other* places he'd lived and loved in as a gay man of his era. 'To be gay, I think,' (he said) 'is not to identify with the psychological traits and the visible masks of the homosexual, but to try to define and develop [friendship as] a way of life.'
                When we wandered we found each other, recognized and loved each other. When we settled, some friendships endured time, distance, and wear, tough as osnaburg. Without marriage or paternity our woven love, memory, and way of life became durable family, the basic unit of our world.

Ôi yêu why does this.
Why this cômfỏting

so uh
the person who wrote this is a woman, a nurse, i think late in her 40s
this is like... pulled from her online diary. she has a gopherhole called "agk" which is her initials ig
now u might wonder wtf is a gopherhole

????? Bình tĩnh what's a Goph
Đc r :)

so, gopher is an internet protocol that existed before world wide web


basically, the web uses the HTTP protocol, so when u use a browser to visit a website it begins with "https://...." right


gopher is its own protocol, and gopher "sites" begin with "gopher://......"

bro why am i invested

most modern browsers dropped support for gopher long ago, but the community there isn't dying or anything, in fact some ppl like anna (who wrote the stuff above) still use it everyday

| Re: bro why am i invested
u should, hehe. there are more to the Internet than just... the Web yk

| Re: most modern browsers dropped support...
How tf

anw gopher is rlly different bc it's an archaic protocol and not much has changed abt it, so it doesn't have all the fancy styling stuff u can do with HTML. all content on gopher is served in plain text
a screenshot of Anna's Gopherhole on Gopher
this is anna's gopherhole....



ê that shit so nice to look at it rlly gives off the vibe người già trung niên
Thing is
It looks so easy on the eyes bitch tf
Looks very minimalistic i like it picasso

chính xác
this is why gopher isnt dying
some ppl even prefer it to the Web
(its me im people)

As they should tbh

nowadays i also surf reddit through gopherddit if its not media content :))) gopher is much easier on the eye fr
theres an active community there so lots of ppl made gopher proxy for websites á, so u have gopherpedia (wikipedia proxy) and stuff like that

Nma ughhhh i often consume shit w kiểu
Media í

idk if i dont consume lots of media hay là i kinda adapt to it once i start using it nữa
kiểu my first hour browsing gopher was.... very wowie, like, most of the stuff there r more well written than anything i've read from weblogs
so i get the appeal

| Re: [image]
cái screenshot này từ hồi 2021 r í
about the time i found out abt gopher

H u still browse thru gophers?

yeah that entry was from october 2021
| Re: H u still browse thru gophers?
i dont have a hole myself hdhfj but its nice to lurk around n read ppls stuff
literally all of them r just.... regular ppl, hobbyists, mostly trung niên but like their stuff is so well written???

Vì they trung niên đó
Time to contemplate

lol ig so


It's march. The word for march in finnish is maaliskuu, it means "the month where you could see the ground", i.e when snow is supposed to melt. I'm not seeing no ground, everything is covered in even thicker snow than we had in febuary. But we're having more sun now and day is getting longer so summer is definitely coming (cheers in -10°C).

I rearrange all the furnitures in my room bi-monthly bc I get bored of coherence and routine. School is not doing well rn (though, it has to be well bc I need a scholarship). I figured that I'm totally capable of doing the work and I could pass the courses if only I do attend classes/pay attention, but I don't. Maybe I can partly blame it on the fact that I don't have friends (as in sb to regularly talk / have lunch with) at school, which has bothered me more than I think it would. But mostly I'm just understimulated, by lectures and people and all their beautiful outlook on the future. Yiddi yadda we're all gonna die in the following years and all that matters is what we do in the small moments we have before death, and I start to feel like I don't wanna waste time in this stupid degree.

Any sort of human contact I've made during my time in finland have been functional, practical, and site-specific. Sometimes I think these constraints keep me a part of society but sometimes I think they make me hungry for something else. I think that's why I'm still making content for the web.

22.2.2023. Looping "Give Up" (2003) by The Postal Service.

I heard that Mark Zucc listened to this album 20 years ago while he coded up the first version of F*cebook. I'm listening to it now while coding up /~147/ so that I can fuck off from F*cebook, thereby completing the cycle.


I've been looping Give Up for days. It was a terrific album, and the only one from The Postal Service - they disbanded shortly afterwards, what a shame. The tune is early 2000s, and the theme is early 20s. For a moment I think I kind of sympathized with the anguishes of a 20-something young Mark Zucc, how crushed he must've felt listening to this album after being dumped by a girl. Cynicism kicks in, the world shuts down thanks to a pandemic, and on top of all that is the penetration of technology into every part of life... as mentioned in the album. It must've been very confusing for him, for me, for anyone who is aware of that.

Still, I can't believe that I and a Megacorp Silicon Valley lizard could share this random thing in common and be connected by that. But I guess everyone has the right to enjoy a good album even if they would grow up to become a Megacorp Silicon Valley lizard.

Pingback: NOW albums/EPs archive


The contant urge to put men into very vulnerable positions without necessarily debasing them nor glorifying abuse.


Art Footprint Manifesto, an excerpt.

Artists: use the ideas of other artists, this is anti-capitalist. The borrowing of ideas is the basis of creativity. Turn to the art directions of yesterday! In art, we often see the ideas of the past presented as new, which corresponds to the principles of the capitalist economy — the economy of planned obsolescence. We urge you not to chase imaginary novelty! Reuse ideas, concepts and forms created in the past, honestly and boldly.

Section: Zero Waste Art > Reuse

Pingback: Open source

31.1.23 ~ 22:57

Done with school, did the laundry again (it went well), had dinner (rye bread, edam cheese, lingonberries jam, some mandarines), talked to Ket a little, watched two episodes of Karen Pirie (terrible romance, but I'm following the case).

All is well. Except nothing is. Still have to make up for the last missed assignments. Still have to find someone for the interview. I'm really testing ░░░░░░░░'s patience with my AutoCAD project, I'm considering offering video tutorials or sth like that in return for his ever-so-forgiving attitude. Maybe I could help with teaching SketchUp, he seems pretty miserable, having to take the lot.

Anw. I'm starting the Web3 masterclass right now. Quick overview: I do love the way they present this, the wackiness ("chief troublemaker", "A statement made to save one's own ass"). These people seem pretty punk themselves and the way they present Web3 makes me feel like I'm witnessing Tim Berners-Lee introducing the World Wide Web in 1995 at Havard. Even though I'm coming in with all the precaution and skepticism, I know the nerd side of me would want to see all the wonderful (or horrifying) applications it may have in the future.

0.1 • "We'll leave out the hype and let you decide" Well thank G*d. I'll take everything with a grain of salt. I guess you can consider these "Lecture notes".

1.1 • Oh fuck me they created a fashion playground in the Metaverse man not the fucking Metaverse. My thoughts rn is that they're creating social-media-on-steroid and not investigating the behavioral effects it can have.

1.1 • "In order to create a model of digital fashion that can be traded, we have to have blockchain as an enabling technology" - That's an interesting statement. The previous one said that in order to be decentralized we need blockchain, but I know this isn't true. BitTorrent and IPFS exist, many other distributed technologies exist. I think it's just that blockchain tech facilitates the "trade" part - since so many currencies emerged from it that made people and businesses favor it more.

1.1 • Differences between Web 1, 2 & 3 - Good point. Web2 didn't replace Web1 but was built on top of it. Same goes for Web3. Well. Actually, if you're talking abt semantics, Web2 didn't remove Web1 sure, but it replaced Web1 in the mind of most people. It became essential, the new normal for mass public except for ppl like us NIMBYs, Luddites, Neocitizens who insist to do things the way it was done in the 90s. I'm thinking of all the waste this could generate. All this talk abt Web3 being omnipotent gives me real suspicions, it's like inventing plastics in the 1860s and using them for everything and when the problem - waste - was spotted, it was already too late and the world depends on plastic. I wonder what would be a now-trivial issue caused by Web3 that will become threatening in the future. How do we disaster-proof this stuff? Right now ppl are using it for crazy ideas - virtual fashion, very cute - but somebody gotta research the downside of this, no?

1.1 • "We'll introduce VR headsets" and you claim to be sustainable ??? To be planet friendly? With more devices and more mining?

1.1 • "We're gonna move from being just consumers where our values is extracted to actually being able to participate in the economy" How?? I have questions. But like... A space where people don't just consume content but also create or sell their own content...that's the Web.

... Or at least that was the Web, before the dot-com boom. Before someone made a private & centralized version of it that's so simple it could be used by a 10-year-old and non-tech people flocked to that. You think those people care abt the fact that the Web is intended to be free and open and not privately owned by 5 white guys? THEY gave up privacy for convenience. I'm guessing that one day someone will get the brilliant idea of providing Web3 services for ppl who don't want to know how it works, and those services will exploit the users, and then Web3 will become extremely popular - at the cost of its core value. What about that?

1.1 • "Create wealth together" wealth is nоt аbоut having/producing/ creating more, it's about distributing the right resource to the right place, and the total amount of resource doesn't change. "Creating wealth" isn't about growth and innovation, it's more like a giant mass balance problem.

-- that's it for today. I gotta take a break, my laptop fan is spinning for dear life.


Ku mggrkpi cp cpiuva cpf goqvkqpcn lqwtpcn nkmg vjku qpg c ukip qh ogpvcn knnpguu qt jcxg K tgcf vqq ocpa fkctkgu htqo rgqrng yjq jcxg gpfgf vjgkt nkhg?

Sitting next to the piano room of ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ library again. Something about live music that is very soothing even though it's from another room. If I could, I'd live next to a conservatory to hear people practice every day... But I shouldn't be thinking about that. The pianist (I assume) played the simple warm-up that I once knew, a couple of times at different speeds, then went on with Bach's WTC first prelude, Debussy's Arabesque 1, and Pachelbel's Canon in D. Even though they're all quite popular pieces - dead horses beaten to pulp - I still enjoy them greatly. You know the player is good when it's Canon in D and I ain't complaining...

Anywho, moment of truth. (I feel like I'm treating my journal like a confession booth in a church or sth where I go to confide and confess my sins. After all if I can't be honest with anyone else I'd still try and be honest with myself). Went to school today, but I didn't go to classes. I didn't want to meet anyone but I saw ░░░░ (hope she didn't see me) and I saw ░░░░░ twice (he saw me). I arrived super late bc I freaked out about my hair and decided to take a shower, but then I forgot to brush my teeth and so even though I was chewing xylitol gum all along the way to school, I am self-conscious.

I think about ░░░░░, about how I'd be much more motivated to go to school if she was there in my class. I think about learning chess so that I have an excuse to come over and hang with her. L wklqn doo pb rqolqh iulhqgv duh ehjlqqlqj wr jhw wluhg ri ph dqg lw pdnhv ph whuuleob vfduhg ri vdblqj vrphwklqj zurqj ru ehlqj lqvhqvlwlyh/lqdghtxdwh, vfduhg ri vwdwlqj pb rzq rslqlrq lqvwhdg ri sodblqj dorqj zlwk wkhp dqg vdblqj "Rpj vddppphhhh".

I didn't do a good job joining a group in class, though I didn't think much of it. I've failed to join groups in pretty much every school I went to, unless I mask myself extensively or the group is tolerant of weird people. Anywho, I think the 21▖▖▖▖▖ could be grouped into 4 main cliques: the boys, the girls, the Finns, and the neckbeards. The Finns have an impermeable language border around their territory, so I've stopped trying to get to them, until I sorted out my finnish at least. The boys... do pretty much everything together, they would let me hang with them if I asked, but I just can't quite catch their jokes. I can talk with the girls fine, but only about schoolwork bc I don't care about malls, parties, or "Who's dating who" kinda gossip. I ended up hanging out mostly with the neckbeards, they're all guys, older than me, and super 'lax. I can't say I'm close to them in a dudebro way but at least I never feel left out by the neckbeards. The only downside is that they don't attend class that often cuz they all have a life.

And then there are "the others", aka those who have some crippled school year: ░░░░░ who is half-20▖▖▖▖▖, ░░░ who transferred from ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ in the 2nd year, ░░░░░░ who is half-22▖▖▖▖▖, and ░░░░░░░ who I think also transferred in when we're already halfway through 2nd year. They're all kinda out of place and end up trying in frustration to integrate into one of the groups (except ░░░░░ I guess? Since he could hang out with the 20▖▖▖▖▖s). But "The others" aren't a clique, they're scattered everywhere just like me.

Fortunately, there's also a new group joining us for some courses this spring: the exchange students. I'm beginning to see segregation, but it's fine, they're still super green and not close to each other. This is a good time to fetch some single-serving friends for the next 4 months, I'm already getting along with some of the girls: ░░░░░░░░, ░░░░░░, ░░░░, and also a guy named ░░░░░ who's super soft-spoken. (Now that I think abt it, it's quite stupid to skip this morning's lecture).

It's already the end of Jan, it's unbelievable. I gotta pay the ▖▖▖▖ insurance fee real quick, and I'll have the Wеb3 master class tomorrow too. So I gotta prepare for that, on top of doing all my missing homework and doing laundry. What a trip. Deadline for interviewee confirmation is tomorrow, gotta ask ░░░░░░░░, ░░░░░ and the Ruohonjuuri shop today. I'm gonna get some groceries from Lidl now, I hope all the work will get me back on track, manga is really making me stray from my engineering goal.


Opacpddtzy td yze esp xfdtn jzf wtdepy ez. Te'd yze mptyr lww lyrdej lyo dpwqtp hstwp jzf ncj. Opacpddtzy td hspy jzf hlens wtqp rzpd zy hteszfe jzf ty te. Opacpddtzy td hspy jzf hlvp fa lyo qlww mlnv ez dwppa, zc lwwzh jzfcdpwq ez delj zy esle fyvpxae, xpddj mpo zq jzfcd fyetw esp dfy rzpd fa, pgpy eszfrs jzf vyzh esp dfy rzpd fa le 10 lyo yz dpwq-cpdapnetyr apcdzy hzfwo delce esptc olj le esle szfc.

Klwylzzpvu pz dolu fvb olhy dopal uvpzl ypunpun pu fvby jhyz hss aol aptl. Fvb mpss fvby jhslukhy dpao dvyr - pa dpss npcl fvb h yvbapul av mhss puav, huk zvtl ahzrz av ahrl fvby olhk vmm aol dopal uvpzl, vmm fvby aovbnoaz. Fvb kv lclyfaopun h ulbyvafwpjhs wlyzvu pz zbwwvzlk av kv - nv av dvyr, zvjphspgl, dhsr pu aol whyr, nv av thss, wshu zvtl khalz, jvvr zvtl tlhsz,... fvb ayf av mpa pu aolpy zovlz. Fvb jvucpujl fvbyzlsm aoha aopz bulhzl mllspun pz qbza h wohzl, huk pm fvb ayf ohyk luvbno av nla "ihjr vu ayhjr", av "zahf pu avbjo", av puzlya fvbyzlsm pu aol jvuapubvbz msvd vm spml, aopz dvbsk nv hdhf. Iba aolu fvb yltltily aoha fvb'cl mhjlk aopz mllspun tbsapwsl aptlz pu aol whza, huk aoha fvb'yl buzbyl dolaoly aopz pz h kpzayhjapvu myvt spml vy fvby zv-jhsslk "spml" pz h kpzayhjapvu myvt pa.

Mnyanbbrxw rb mnujhrwp cqrwpb, jwm cqnw oxalrwp hxdabnuo cx mx [bjrm cjbt] frcqxdc cqrwtrwp vdlq jkc rc, knljdbn hxd twxf ro hxd'an prenw crvn cx cqrwt jwm cx mnlrmn, hxd fruu sdbc mnlrmn cx WXC mx rc, xa mnujh cqn mnlrbrxw dwcru rc'b wxc erjkun jwhvxan. Mnyanbbrxw rb fqnw hxd twxf hxda mjh rb mxvrwx noonlc, fqnw hxd unc hxdabnuo adw xw jdcxyruxc knljdbn cqn xwuh fjh oxa hxd cx mx jwhcqrwp rb cx mx rc vrwmunbbuh jwm dwlxwblrxdbuh. Mnyanbbrxw rb cjtrwp jfjh jdcqxarch oxa hxdabnuo jwm fjrcrwp cx kn cxum fqjc cx mx, knljdbn hxd'm ajcqna qjen wx oann fruu cqjw cx qjen rc jwm lqxxbn juu cqn faxwp cqrwpb.

Rsdfsggwcb wg kvsb mci vsof hvs gcth fiapzs ct hvs dv0bs obr wbghobhzm tssz gots psqoigs mci ybck hvsfs'g ob 80% qvobqs hvoh wh wg hvs qozz ct mcif sachwcboz giddcfh twuifs. Obr mci xigh kobh hc pifgh obr qfm obr qfiapzs hc dwsqsg obr hszz hvsa vck gvwhhm mci tssz pih hvs acasbh mci gss hvswf toqs mci'r oihcaohwqozzm dih cb o aogy, psqoigs ucr tcfpwr mci hc sjsf ps jizbsfopzs ofcibr dscdzs mci zcjs, kvc ozgc zcjs mci. Psqoigs mci hvwby bwqs dscdzs dfcpopzm hccy o zch ct gvwhg tfca chvsf rsdfsggsr tiqysfg zwys mci ozfsorm, obr mci rcb'h kobh hvsa hc dih id kwhv mci og kszz, hvoh hvsm rcb'h rsgsfjs wh, hvoh hvsm dfcpopzm vojs hvswf ckb wggisg, hvoh sjsb wt hvsm'fs asbhozzm ojowzopzs mci'fs ghwzz otfowr ct pswbu o pifrsb, cf pswbu ohhoqvsr.


Caramelldansen, a tale of lost media, historical revisionism, and balsamic vinegar.

Youtuber jan Misali made a 45 minutes video called "Who wrote Caramelldansen?" in which he attempted to trace down the originality of the song from being an average pop song from the (now-disbanded) Swedish band "Caramell", to a hit nightcore remix, to a japanese meme on Nico Nico Douga, to now being credited to Swedish-owned "Caramella Girls"

Maybe in a sense, the Caramella Girls are the modern incarnation of Caramell. They've just been Ship-Of-Theseus-ed into a lineup that no longer has any of their original members. Except it's not really like the Ship Of Theseus. It's more like... if you were to disassemble a ship one piece at a time, but instead of replacing those parts as you take them out, the ship is just left without those parts, and eventually, the ship is completely gone. But then a few years later, a song created by the Ship Of Theseus becomes a big meme in Japan, and in response, the guy who owns the rights to the Ship Of Theseus - who is not Theseus - decides to make a new ship, the Thesea Girls, in order to apeal to this demographic that enjoys works made by this old ship that no longer exists.


Who wrote Caramelldansen? Caramell wrote Caramelldansen, obviously (specifically, Vasco and Millboy).

But officially, the Caramella Girls wrote Caramelldansen.

But technically, DJ Speedycake wrote Caramelldansen.

Whoever wrote the English lyrics wrote Caramelldansen (and we don't know who that is).

Whoever first heard "Dansa med oss" as «バルサミコ酢» wrote Caramelldansen.

The meme itself was written by thousands, no, millions of authors. Everyone who shared «Sven from Sweden»'s flash loop with their friends on now-defunct message boards wrote Caramelldansen. Every middle schooler who traced over the GIF with their favorite anime characters wrote Caramelldansen. Every kid who downloaded the song to their ipod shuffle and listened to it with their friends during recess wrote Caramelldansen.

Who wrote Caramelldansen? The song was written by Vasco and Millboy, but we wrote the meme. WE wrote Caramelldansen.

Source: jan Misali - Who wrote Caramelldansen?

All 2021 (to be updated)

.. 6.10.2021 - Phú's opinion on social network silos

6.10.2021. It doesn't get realer than this.

Woke up thinking about socmed is going down and everyone are freaking out about it because we depend on them to connect with loved ones and/or showing off ourselves as a form of self-expression and without them we're lost and lonely and pathetic - exactly how they wanted us to. Anyways I've already had this talk with mink tệ (who's stopped using socmeds) like months ago and we talked about how people used to have their own homepage/website where we control everything about it and we choose what to do with our sites and what to put out there without the need to constantly be checking up / engage in trends or social activities because there is none its like an online portfolio/diary and we can also choose whether or not we put up a message box for friends and people who r interested in talking to us can send messages/asks/mails and its kinda like a penpal system. Back in the days when the internet was just a tool for us not the thing that shaped our entire lifestyle. Back when using the internet is no different than taking up a hobby not our entire societal bone structure. Anyways what I'm getting out of this is it's weird that we knew this would happen and it did, and people are reacting exactly how these socmed corps wanted us to: to be afraid of losing friends, losing income, losing followers, losing memories and even losing identities, that when one site is down we hurrily flock into another, jumping from one socmeds to the other, but none of us is ready to let it go, to stop using them, because our lives depend on them. Which is fucked up. What I'm getting at is that it is now 10:30am in the morning and I need to get breakfast, and I could do that without broadcasting what I'm thinking about to the entire world, using a system I know I'm now a slave to and I know its making money out of me based on the attention I give it, but here I am anyways, and here is my thought regardless.

Source: Phú wrote it on F*cebook and sent me this morning.

All 2020 (to be updated)

.. 6.12.2020 - Per espera, ad astra

6.12.2020 @ 23:51.


#1: Things I've written down watching Ad Astra (2019). OCs mentioned: Chen Henneslie & Helen Schneider.em>

Dude, I was just reminded to watch Ad Astra and I did it immediately. Wisest choice I've ever made for a while now.

1/ I don't even know the dude's name, but this man is Dr. Chen Henneslie. Oh the similarity. My heart breaks bc now I finally understand what Stuck in the sound's video was about. And what's with the 47 code?? This movie is such a good timing. (His name was Roy btw)

2/ So the lore would be Chen loses his dad since teenage bc he's too immersed in his work or overworked himself in a failed project and passed away. He was trained to be the doctor, after his dad, always focus, always make pragmatic decisions. Hence the "your feelings don't matter".

3/ Roy fucking McBride, I dont even know what else to say, this man is literally Chen Henneslie. Just look at these monologues.

ROY: "I’m calm, steady. I slept well, 8.2 hours. No bad dreams. I am ready to go. Ready to do my job to the best of my abilities. I am focused only on the essentials, to the exclusion of all else. I will make only pragmatic decisions. I will not allow myself to be distracted. I will not allow my mind to linger on that which is unimportant. I will not rely on anyone or anything. I will not be vulnerable to mistakes. Resting BPM, 47. Submit."

I think I might just quote every line I hear from this movie.


ROY: "I always wanted to be an astronaut. For the future of mankind and all. At least, that's what I always told myself. I see myself from the outside. Smile, present a side. It’s a performance, with my eyes on the exit. Always on the exit.

At least it's comfortable out here. Space I understand."


ROY: "So many times in my life I screwed up. I talk when I should've listened. I was harsh when I should've been tender."

ROY: "Hey Eve, it's Roy. I'm away again, no surprise there."

6/ I fucking can't. Number 7 popped in too much for it to be a coincidence. Resting BPM 47. Door number 7. Rover number 7. Pirates rovers from 7 o'clock direction. I'm legit scared, the universe is trying to fuck with my sense.


ROY: "My dad was a pioneer. He sacrificed himself for the search for intelligent life. My dad was the program. I was 16 when he left, 29 when he disappeared. And that’s that."

Chen feels u so so so badly :pensive face:

ROY: "What happened to my dad? What did he find out there? Did it break him? or was he always broken?"


ROY: "The attack, it was full of rage. I understand that rage. I’ve seen that rage in my father, and I’ve seen that rage in me. Because I’m angry that he took off. He left us. You know, but when I look at that anger, and if I push it aside, and just put it away, all I see is hurt. I just see pain. I think it keeps me walled off, walled off from relationships and opening myself up, and, you know, really caring for someone. And I don’t know how to get past that. I don’t know how to get around that. And it worries me. And I don’t want to be that guy. I don’t want to be my dad."

9/ what the f fhcxjn jsk? this is giving me brain damage.

10/ I've never cried this much since the last few years. This movie fucked me up so badly. I don't know if anyone's going to understand just how personal this is related to me.

Even the one who tried to change me, they thought that maybe I'm just that way. Maybe I'm just detached like that.

Just another cosmo science fiction for some fresh air, I thought. I hate to admit that this movie is just full of things I hate to admit.

However it has a wonderful plot, and as I'm basing "Dr. Chen" on this, I'm not sure if I could pull off something at the level.

11/ And still, this hits home too hard.

I know that working alone is not a wise thing to do.

They say if you want to go fast go alone, but if you want to go far go together. It fits Roy's dad narrative perfectly. He was fast to success, his name was top at the hall of fame, but then he struck the wall and run low for the rest of his life. Gone insane, killed people, clinged to his infatuating ideal that was proven to be unrealistic. Even when his son came to save him, to bring him back to life, he can't even seem to accept it. It is tragic to see someone as good as him gone wasted.

It's always helpful to have a plan B, or a person B for extra help. And for some people, like me, getting help from someone can be cumbersome, as well as sharing THEIR struggles. It feels like you want the whole world to leave you alone. But what do you know about being alone? Have you been inside a vessel? Have you been socially isolated? What do you know about its consequences?

#2: Clifford McBride (Ad Astra) vs Helen Schneider (my OC)

I'm getting to a point now.

As much as I want to talk abt Roy McBride, I actually find that his father Clifford McBride has a lot in common with Helen Esc. Schneider. Funny how during the movie I'm like hmm this man is a horrible person gtfo and then I realized that he's just like Hêl fr :pensive face:

Egocentric and lonely leaders who are infatuated with their ideals, who are disciplined and violent on command, who disregard their own and anyone's personal life, who have no strong ground of ethics except for work ethics. They also had the same "runaway" mindset and hurted people who wanted to help. Immersing themselves in work as an escape from life, they have already chosen death.

But on the flip side, they're both extraordinary thinkers with determination, who spent their whole life building a legacy. Because what they consider the most important is the works, discoveries and informations, not life, not family, not your feelings. They live not in the moment, but for the future. "He could only see what was not there, and missed what was right in front of him." Clifford in the end was outright delusional and gone insane, he died in a desperate attempt to refuse coming back "home". Helen never treasured her life, nor home. She manifested her own death as part of the plan, bc she was so obsessed that even her death must serve something.

Man, at this point I can't confidently state that Hel is mentally fine anymore. Thank god she wasn't a space traveler :skull emoji:

Also why am I not even surprised finding Helen in toxic male characters anymore? Always have to be the most toxic close-minded males who make the worst consequences. Isn't Clifford and Lima Project just another Dr. Dyatlov and Chernobyl :pensive face:

#3: Roy McBride (Ad Astra) vs Chen Henneslie (my OC)

Roy is dedicated to space travel because it's like an exit door for all the struggles coming from the emotional isolation he had with his closed ones. He works a dangerous job and yet his heartbeat never went over 80 BPM even in near death situations. He excels at his job, and yet, his eyes are on the exit.

Chen lives in (what I'd call) a Kafka-esque society, so to be fair not only him but everyone is upset with their life yet do nothing about it. He's a doctor under his dad's shadow and surname, the system make people work like hamsters in a wheel, procedures feel like an inescapable loop. "All our lives we sweat and save, building for a shallow grave." Chen excels at his work without questioning and without being asked to do so, and yet, his eyes are on the exit.

Roy and Chen both fall into the paranoia of "being a copy of your dad" and it's easy to see why. Roy's dad was the man who traveled furthest in space at the moment, and Chen's dad was a terrific surgeon who hold several PhDs. Imagine having a super popular dad and following his path and anyone who talks to you only know you as your dad's son.

When they unfortunately found out that their dads aren't heroes but actually a threat to society, the paranoid gets super real. But whatever they think doesn't define reality, right? When Roy faces his dad in person, after 20-ish years being apart, he noticed the difference, even though they seem to sympathize easily. Roy's not the same as his dad, but he's been living under the shadow of Clifford and when he headed back to Earth from Neptune, it was the first time his real personality comes to the sun. It was a burden, and he ended it, determinedly, for once and forever. I'm living for this character development.

#4: Clifford McBride apologist 1/2

fuck im very tired now but i do be overthinking abt Clifford McBride ^^ today's on me being the devil's advocate nobody asked for...

I mean it's fiction so I wouldn't ask much but technically I'd still advocate for Clifford's right to continue his work. They put him on a search for intelligent life outside the Earth, and The Milky Way is incredibly huge let alone any other galaxy, they only gave him a couple of decades. How do they assure that he failed? How do they know there's really no one out there?

And I mean, at the age of 70(?), after being absolutely isolated from human contact and living 30 years in the ship, the man wanted to continue his work. His determination doesn't wear off, never been.

He basically killed all of his crewmates, sadly, and to survive only 1 year without human contact is not for an average human at all, let alone 30 years. So it seems like he's supposed to stay alone that way, but still the man is extremely lonely. He probably knew SPACECOM used Roy only to bait him, but he still replied to Roy's sincere call about their good memories, somewhere deep down he misses his son.

When he finally got to meet Roy, he was surprised by Roy's forgiving attitude and patience. Isn't it clear that SPACECOM treated him like shit. He was so grateful when Roy suggested to make a copy of all documents from the Lima Project to the Cepheus. He even opened up about the fight on the ship, that his crewmates all betrayed him bc they want to go home, and that he wish he could've had a companion like Roy. He even tried to convince Roy that together, they can continue the work. He was full of hope.

And I mean, SPACECOM just wants to throw a nuclear missile to end both Clifford and the Lima project, the Cepheus was initially designed for that find-and-destroy mission. If Roy did NOT hijack the Cepheus and go find his dad all by himself, have he NOT decided to gently and patiently talk to his dad and convince Clifford to go with him, if he did not save a backup of the Lima Project on the Cepheus along with journal diary...... That SPACECOM crew would just nuke the whole thing and we'll never know about the legacy of Clifford. Now he's also dead anyways so nobody will ever know how much he has to give.

Im getting tired, it's 3:21AM. See you later then.

#5: Clifford McBride apologist 2/2

I realized it's unfair to call Clifford the movie's villain hsjsndb even though he was portrayed as one he's NOT the villain? He's like.. an anti-hero? or just a very stubborn lil man who wants to go through with his mission. The surge wasn't even his fault, it was his crew mates who did it and he was there to FIX it. Roy knows this, he believed since day one that even tho Clifford was a terrible dad, he's still a terrific astronaut and he was trying to fix the surge and SPACECOM was trying to discredit him.


ROY: "Yep."

CLIFFORD: "This is home. This is a one way voyage my son. You're talking about Earth? There was never anything for me there. I never cared about you, or your mother... or any of your small ideas. For 30 years... I've been breathing this air, eating this food... enduring these hardships... and I never once thought about home."

ROY: "I know, Dad."

CLIFFORD: "I knew this would widow your mother... and orphan you... but I found my destiny. So, I abandoned my son."

ROY: "I still love you, Dad. I'm taking you back."

Breathing this air, enduring these hardships... "Per aspera, ad astra", it means "Through hardships, to the stars". And that's what he did. Traveled to the furthest planet, never came back.

hhhhhh im havin a hard time accepting the fact that this is a movie focusing on Roy's internal life and development and it was written that way so we can pull off a beautiful " lesson" or two abt life and social connections ^^ so I can't ask for Clifford's justice. If this was more like Interstellar then CLIFFORD JUSTICE WHEN im being aggressively supportive @ him

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Welcome to the . This is the most frequently visited & updated spot on /~147/, the sole visitor being of course myself. I come here almost daily for streaming music and logging my musical finds / listening habit.

The Jukebox is powered by Bandcamp and Great DJ, which may include Youtube cookies - see the disclaimer here.

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Cookies disclaimer

The Jukebox on /~147/ is powered by Bandcamp and Great DJ, which means you might receive Bandcamp and YouTube cookies (Great DJ is based on YouTube). I'm sure most people are cool with Bandcamp cookies, since they don't collect personal data. Youtube cookies, on the other hand, pose a bigger concern to many people. So if you're about to squeam...

YouTube is malware! It's owned by Google and tracks its users!

I'm aware. I'm not a fan of Google trackers either, but in the case of YouTube, I'd say that the benefit outweighs the risk. I like YouTube's community of creators and its database of free, accessible media, so I'm not gonna stop using YouTube anytime now. What I cannot stand is actually the interface of YouTube[dot com], that's why I use the embed player instead of just linking to YouTube. What I'm doing here is effectively taking the YouTube content away from the YouTube interface, to make a point that although I love the content, I don't necessarily endorse the platform.

For me, the truly most unbearable things about YouTube[dot com] are, among others:A) the ads (especially mid-video),
B) the addictive UI (e.g endless scrolling, recommendation, etc) and
C) the gatekeeping (e.g region block, background playing block on mobile devices, etc).
These have been geting worse in the last few years thanks to YouTube's reinforcement. They are no longer "strings attached to a free service", they are red flags from an intrusive, manipulative, attention-grabbing, greed-mongering service owned by Silicon Valley lizards.

Fortunately, there are ways to work around or circumvent most of these problems using the embed player and/or the YouTube API. There are no ads in YouTube embeds (last time I checked), no distracting UI elements (when the player is small enough - here it is max 355px), and in a continuous playlist where one video plays after another, there's no time for recommendation. The background playing problem could be solved using the YouTube API.

Great! So why didn't you just write up your own player using the API? Why Great DJ?

Using the API would mean writing JavaScript, and I intended to write no JavaScript for /~147/. Could I have written a vanilla HTML/CSS player? Why, of course, I gave it a try. You can see the demo here.

I found out that without using JavaScript, the player barely works. I mean, it does work but it'd usually throw a few errors before doing what it's intended to. But then there are problems with videos that block embeds. Plus, I want to be able to use the jukebox as background music player, e.g on my phone, and there's no way to bypass the background playing block without using JavaScript.

So even though I hate having dependencies, I now rely on Great DJ to handle my YouTube embeds. I try to link Bandcamp instead of YouTube whenever possible.

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